A tool

There was an odd kind of silence in his life, a side no one had seen. Paranoia, anger, hurt and guilt -nobody knew of, except him. To the world he was known as “the guy who always had a smile on his face.”

A staple in life, a tool to stop the tears from falling -it was laughter that kept his reality hidden but behind closed doors everything switched. The laughter disappeared, smile faded and loneliness took over.

I shouldn’t laugh, the more I laugh – the more I’ll have to cry later.

You would hear him say. As though he was giving out a clue, a sign that he needed saving; but nobody heard, nobody understood and nobody came to the rescue.

That’s what happens in a fake world. Realities get hidden and a facade starts. Many knowingly and in this case, unknowingly…

12 thoughts on “A tool

  1. A beautifully written essay.

    It sort of reminds me of what I’ve always felt about the life of the late great actor and comic Robin Williams.

    On the outside, he was always making people laughing.

    But on the inside, he was always inwardly crying and battling with depression and particularly his tragic death from suicide when confronted with the diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease when he felt so terribly alone and hindered by the thought that nobody could possibly give back to him as he faced his tragic predicament the joy that he so selflessly brought to the world despite his own inner pain.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I feel there should be more discussion and awareness raised when it comes to mental health and depression. Many find it difficult to admit or speak up. Robin Williams life is a big example. He suffered alone, the pain he felt -he didn’t want anyone else to go through, the reason he spread so much happiness in the world.

      Thankyou for reading my post and leaving such a lovely comment. 🌸 -a


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